Brianna Gail Evans
Baby: The things I did right
Becoming a mom has turned my world completely upside down. My entire life revolves around our precious guy. I remember soon after finding out I was expecting, I dove head first into researching anything and everything!! and I mean... every. thing. I had no idea what I was about to be getting into. If you know me on a personal level, you know that I am very much a perfectionist and very hard on myself. So naturally, when it comes to venturing into new territory, I start to gear up and prepare for doing my absolute best and giving 120%.
The first thing I started researching once I found out I was expecting was natural birth. I have always considered myself someone with an extremely high pain tolerance and I feel like I am basically able to ignore the "pain" sensation. I'm sure there is some medical or proper term for it somewhere. So I began researching and studying how to cope during the intense pain of laboring. I studied all sorts of methods, researched Doulas, etc. Despite the occasional concern and questioning from my family, I was 100% determined to have a natural birth. I wanted to do it because I loved the idea of knowing that I would 100% be present when my son entered this world. I didnt want to have any type of reaction to a medication they had given me and I didnt want to deal with the side effects that the epidural is generally known for. My decision to have a natural birth had nothing to do with getting recognition or receiving a “super mom award”, which as you know isn’t a thing. It had absolutely nothing to do with any of those things, it simply was a decision I had made 100% for myself and how I wanted MY experience in labor and delivery to go.
Braxon is now about to be 6 months old and I’m just now being able to put our experience into words. I didn’t have a natural birth. I didnt have a vaginal birth at all actually. I had an emergency cesarian and had to be completely put out because of how quickly they needed to get the baby out. Braxons Life was in danger and so was mine. My body wasnt doing what it should have at all And honestly, it was the scariest moment of my life. His birth story isn’t what I wanted. Actually, everything I DIDNT want during his birth actually happened. I was induced, I was given an epidural and sadly, I didn’t give birth to him naturally. With all of that being said, I never once would allow myself to feel guilty about not actually giving birth to my baby. I Didn’t even allow myself to feel disappointed about Braxons birth story and how he entered the world because, guess what, our baby boy is HERE and he’s healthy!! This is the one thing I’m most proud of and in my opinion the one thing I did right. I didn’t rip myself apart for not being able to give birth to Brax the way I had envisioned. For a hardcore perfectionist and someone who is extremely stubborn, this is a huge accomplishment and one that I am proud of.
You can study, pray, meditated and really prepare for certain things to hopefully go the way you want them to. But, sometimes that isn’t Gods plan. There is always tremendous growth from being in seasons where you think you know exactly how something should go, and for whatever reason God shuts the door. The best thing you can do is learn from it and become a better version of yourself from it. I know I sure have.
The last little piece of advice I can give is called GRACE! Give yourself a whole lot of GRACE!!! As far as motherhood, you can read, study, plan and think you have all of your ducks in a row but nothing can fully prepare you for being a mom. It comes with twists and turns at every moment and you just have to know that you're trying your BEST and giving your baby the best version of you! And remember what works for one persons baby might not work for yours. You absolutely have to figure out what works for YOU, your baby and your family as a whole! Listen to people and truly take their advice to heart and then find what works for YOU!
Thanks for reading a little bit of Braxs birth story and stopping by. I hope my little pieces of advice can help in some way.
XX - Bri